When you complain, get angry, or give the cold treatment to your spouse, it is usually because they have withdrawn love from you and as a result, they have triggered your insecurities.
At this point, what you should be saying is this:
I feel that I am not important to you. I am afraid that I will be alone. I need you to reassure me that I am valuable.
However, your ego will not let you do that. So you lash out in your own way. (Most of us act like this).
Here is a secret!
Whenever your spouse gets angry, complains, lies, or withdraws, think of a way to show them that you love them, and that they are valuable before tackling the issue.
When you demonstrate love like this, (because they do not deserve it), you are donating love and it says a whole lot more!
Blessings
-Ade